Best gay dating apps for hookups, relationships, and everything in between

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Who it's for:

Grindr is a popular gay dating app for hookups and casual encounters. It's mostly for gay men who are looking to get laid within the hour (so, an alternative to Tinder).

Although bi, trans, and queer people are welcome on the app, the majority of users are gay men.

Why we picked this:

Grindr is the gay dating app for men, but the company also advocates for the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. Grindr has conducted some pretty illuminating research about its international users: Leading to The Grindr for Equality campaign, which advocates for the sexual health and safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries. Props for that.

And, in February 2024, Grindr is launching a sex-focused podcast titled “Who’s The Asshole?” with RuPaul’s Drag Race alum Katya Zamolodchikova, according to Variety. The first episode is set to air on Feb. 15.

Instead of swiping to match, you'll get a collage of people who are close location-wise. As soon as you hop on the app, it's obvious that there are tons of men out there waiting to talk (confirming that whole "many fish in the sea" thing).

Do note that Grindr lacks the boundaries other apps provide — most users just looking to hook up will let you know that they're not in it for small talk. (That warning may come in the form of a dick pic and not in as many words.) The app has a history of not being so welcoming to bisexual users, and it isn't exactly known for being free from racism, either.

That's not to say it's not for relationships — a lot of men meet their forever person on Grindr — but on the surface, it's a tool for a quick, casual hookup. FWIW, men in small towns with a meager queer population are more likely to find a connection here than on Tinder or OkCupid.

Who it's for:

We love an app that cuts the bullshit. In this case, the bullshit includes cisgender straight men. Lex (short for Lexicon, formerly known as Personals) is a genuinely cool social app for queer, trans, gender non-conforming, two-spirit, and non-binary people. 

The specific demographic positions Lex to offer a more peaceful experience than "everyone" apps like Tinder and Bumble, but the way it introduces users (as lovers or friends) is another level of niche.

Why we picked this:

A nod to '80s and '90s erotica magazines like On Our Backs, Lex users meet by posting personal ads about what (or who) they're looking for, relationship-wise. The ads are a chance for folks to showcase their wit and be straightforward as hell. Personals can get pretty horny, and everything rests on language — because photos aren't allowed. Users can link an Instagram account if they want, but the pressure of posting the perfect selfie to sucker someone in is gone. Plus, it's much harder to get catfished.

Gay Reddit users who miss Craigslist will enjoy the "find an ad you like and appeal to said ad" approach. If someone's interested in starting a band or planning a protest rather than f*cking, they can — and both have happened, Lex founder Kell Rakowski told Allure.

Last year, Lex publicized a brand-new redesign (and redirection) to help emphasize its role in "helping people find LGBTQ+ friends & queer community." It's essentially becoming more of a social platform instead of a dating app, but Rakowski says nothing has changed as far as posting raunchy ads go. “We encourage Lexers looking for dates and hookups to continue horny posting on Lex! It’s their space to connect for love, friendship, and more.”

Who it's for:

Given the existence of Grindr and Scruff (and other gay hookup apps designed for gay men), the need for an online dating arena specifically for queer women was clear. Hence, HER entered the scene. The founders of this award-winning app are committed to cultivating a space “so ragingly queer" that frustrated women can delete apps that don't feel like home.

As the user base of over 4 million grows, HER could widen your dating pool beyond the queer women you already know (crazy idea, right?). In 2019, HER revamped its profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences, and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories. Joining niche groups in the Community tab — like "Non-Monog" or "LGBTQ+ Parents" or "Asexual" — can also connect you with people using the app for similar reasons.

Why we picked this:

Aside from coupling up, a lot of HER regulars are looking to make friends or scope out the queer community in a new town. Switching over to the community feed opens the door to virtual hangouts: With self-curated groups for queer POCs or interests like the new lesbian films that mainstream Twitter will probably ignore. You can even get a heads-up about a local LGBTQ+ event or gauge interest in an event you're planning yourself.

Who it's for:

Of the 75 million people who actively use Tinder each month, not all are straight dudes holding up fish. Queer and trans folks head to Tinder because its dating pool is colossal — almost as colossal as queer people's collective yearning for authentic connection (real).

Tinder pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function: Revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting billions of swipes per day. You'll probably see your neighbor or even someone you work with on the app. (Awkward! Predictable!) However, if you've exhausted your chances with all of the queer people you know in real life, this is probably where you can find the highest number of gay locals — especially in smaller towns.

It is a more heteronormative app, so marking that you only want to see men or only want to see women doesn't necessarily guarantee that a straight person won't slip through the cracks of your feed. It's also a breeding ground for unicorn hunters and male trolls who submit false complaint reports about trans women on the app.

Why we picked this:

Despite all this, Tinder has made notable efforts to be more inclusive by partnering with GLAAD to personalize swiping (e.g., "show me people of the same identity first") and ensure it better meets the diverse needs of the trans community. With more than 40+ gender options, users can feel more confident swiping through potential matches. And, with the app's Relationship Goals feature, members can display a badge on their profile to let the world know what it is they're looking for.

In February, the company released a new feature to stop inappropriate messages by sending in-app warnings to users who engage in offensive or disrespectful behavior. Those who receive multiple warnings may face consequences such as being kicked off the app.

Read our review of Tinder Platinum.

Who it's for:

OkCupid's slogan is "Dating deserves better," and they're damn right — especially for the gays and the theys. Though it's open to gay and straight people, the veteran dating site has shed the heteronormativity that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. It's hip and well-informed, while also maintaining a more intentional atmosphere than Tinder.

Time and time again, OkCupid proves to be the blueprint for inclusivity in online dating. In 2014, OKC rolled out 22 gender and 13 orientation choices — years before such changes became a priority for competing sites. As of summer 2020, all users can choose their pronouns.

Why we picked this:

OkCupid's redesign was deeper than hiring a clearly Gen Z graphic designer. The brains behind the overhaul understand that for young, left-leaning singles, a partner's politics are more serious than "If we agree, that's great. If we don't, that's fine, too." Users can weed out people they'd hate by answering deal-breakers about things like keeping guns in the house or schools requiring children to be vaccinated.

Connections on the app are strengthened by an algorithm that picks matches based on how similarly both parties answered questions during sign-up (yes, there are questions about communication, sappy relationship things, and political views). A compatibility score plus details on where you disagreed are helpful padding when evaluating what differences are make-or-breaks or, instead, things to carefully brush under the carpet for the time being.

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who it's for:

Bumble is the only dating app that lets women and non-binary individuals make the first move. A profile on this app lets you write a bio, answer prompts, include photos, fill out basic info like your job and education, and add flags indicating factors like what type of relationship you're looking for/whether you want kids/etc. Plus, you can connect to Spotify to let people see what you've been jamming out to (music, after all, has a lot of matchmaking potential).

In same-sex matching, either person has the power to make the first move, but there's a 24-hour time limit to start the chat after you match with someone. In Bumble chats, you can even send GIFs (which you can't do on Hinge, fun fact). 

Why we picked this:

We like that Bumble disrupts the normalized dating ritual of men messaging first. For queer users, this isn't always the most relevant feature, which is why we also appreciate that it encourages actually chatting with your matches. And, to make extra sure no one's being catfished or harassed, Bumble just announced that it's launching an AI-powered tool called Deception Detector to help identify and block users who may be using fake photos or engaging in harmful behavior. During its test run, reports of fake profiles and scam accounts were reduced by 45 percent.

To ensure inclusivity, Bumble partnered with GLAAD — a media advocacy organization advancing LGBTQ+ acceptance — to provide a safe space for everyone (yes, including folks who don't identify with the LGBTQ+ community).

Those who identify as non-binary can choose from various descriptors, including but not limited to agender, bigender, genderfluid, and gender non-conforming. In addition to its gender identity choices, Bumble lets you pick the gender of who you'd like to match with.

Read our review of Bumble Premium.

Who it's for:

Archer is a free dating app for gay, bisexual, and queer men. Owned by Match Group, Archer is a "social-first" dating app that prioritizes building meaningful connections through shared interests and values. It's the relationship-focused alternative to hookup-centric apps like Grindr.

It's the best dating app option for bisexual and queer men who are looking for more than just casual encounters and offers a safer space to explore their sexuality and talk about HIV status. (But don't just take our word for it; Brooklyn's resident bi-man and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, Zachary Zane, recommends giving Archer a try for its inclusive and relationship-oriented approach.)

Why we picked this:

Even though Archer is a newer app, it's already gaining a reputation as one of the best gay dating apps out there. Unlike its NSFW competitor Grindr, Archer focuses on creating an inclusive and respectful space for gay, bisexual, and queer men to connect on a deeper level.

It's totally free to download and use, so you'll never be bothered with annoying subscription fees or limited features. With Archer, you can use a Smart-Blur filter to keep you from seeing raunchy content until you're ready, and there's a Selfie-Verify feature for added security and authenticity.

In addition to these features, Archer is working toward making STD/STI, PrEP awareness, and sexual health education a priority within the app via the Health Hub.